Co-dependency, the dysfunctional love relationship

Therefore, love should be a healthy relationship that nurtures the growth of each other, but sometimes it becomes unhealthy when a person becomes codependent with the other. According to Lawrence Wilson, MD, “Co-dependency refers to a common, but unhealthy addictive quality of some relationships in which the parties need or use each other to lean on, so to speak, rather than to enrich and assist each other.”

 It is characterized by overly taking care of the other that creates negative impact on the relationship and quality of life, sometimes too much or excessive care for the other that his own needs are least prioritized. Trying to hold desperately on to the other person, in the hope that their partner won’t leave them. In this kind of relationship, the person is too controlling, too aggressive, and too impulsive but may also be too nice and needy that makes the other timid, weak and unconfident.

Obsession is another characteristic of a codependent. Just like addiction, the drug addict craves for drugs or alcohol; the obsessed person craves for the object of his love. He makes all his decisions accordingly on the feelings and needs of the other person. Obsessed partner is always available and present to the point of annoying the other person. He also spies previous relationships by checking with mutual friends and other sources.  Interfere with the social life of the other; telling him whom to be friends with. Demonstrates disturbing and violent reactions and becomes unreasonably suspicious and jealous.  Successive giving of gifts, money, phone calls, texting, emails, or other forms of communication is also a sign of obsession.   The more time and effort exerted by the obsessed partner the obsession will become more intense. The most serious warning sign of an obsessed person is if he threatens suicide if the other person leaves him.  This condition needs a medical, professional help and counseling because it is a true mental disorder.

The signs of these obsessions are always not obvious during the first part of the relationship that we don’t recognize it until we are trapped. You are the only one who can put an end to this dysfunctional relationship that the co-dependent partner does not want you to shatter his enchantment over you.